The past week has been a challenging week. Why is it? Well, it is because I have not developed a consistent habit. I need to train my subconscious mind to create a good habit, for my conscious mind does not have enough brainpower. Here are some of the things which I’m dealing with.
- My DMP submission was late by a couple of hours.
- My first chore (ie.service) was not done. (I’m beating myself for it.)
- My second chore (ie.service) was not done. Now, I realize the 1st & 2nd chore was too big to be to complete in a week.
- Missed a couple of reading out loud in the evening.
- Writing this blog is 3 days late.
- Missed reading a couple of days of reading the Masterkey
- Missed a couple of days of doing the sits.
- etc. etc. etc…
Given that I have started off a bad foot, this “bad” habit started to compound and snowball. I am tripping myself. I am not happy. I am beating myself up.
My inner voice is saying to myself that if I can’t do these simple tasks, what is the chance of doing big tasks?
If I don’t get my assignment & task up to date, what is the chance of me getting, finding, and discovering the Masterkey?
Furthermore, if the past weeks I got a lot of value from doing most of the exercises and my confidence started to rise, why on earth would I trip & mess up?
What is the point of continuing on?
At this point, I have the feeling to quit. A molasses of sadness, pity, and despair started to overtake me.
Personally, I hate quitting. However, a quiet inner voice whisper saying “Despite all of the above issues, try again one more time.” So, when I went for the sit, reading again. My quiet inner voice volume is getting louder. It says to me
- Press the Reset Button
- Maybe what I’m experiencing & feeling is part of the journey (ie. this is normal).
- Go for another iteration. (For Innovation Comes From Iteration)
So, I am declaring that I’m pressing the RESET BUTTON!
What does “Pressing the Reset Button” look like? When I close my eye and meditate, I notice the tension in my head, entire back, and shoulders are tense. This is about me
- letting go of the head, back, and shoulder tension
- letting go of the Worry that I wouldn’t finish the course
- letting go of the Anger of my scatter mind conscious
- letting go of things has to be perfect for me to get it.
I just need to have faith & trust in myself that everything is perfect and beleive that this is part of a the process.
Ched, I am so glad that you have decided to reset. I also want to share with you that you are not alone. I have not achieved my 100% yet. But I know that I will, and so will you. I always ask myself, “by beating up myself, does that action / thought contribute to my goals?” The answer is obvious. Keep at keeping at it! You’ve got this!
Thank you for letting me know that I’m not in this alone!
Thanks for your honesty yet again this week. Breaking old habits isn’t easy or everyone would do it! Great idea to hit the reset button and start now to meet this challenge head on! You can do it! Blessings!
I hear you! That old blueprint screaming for attention and resisting change has no power over the decision to change it up. Oh there are all sorts of obstacles – all part of the cement. But nothing can squelch a good habit anymore than the darkness can put out the light of a single candle. Happy trails of this amazing journey!
Thanks for sharing! I too am finding keeping up a challenge you are definitely not alone. I love how we get to share it helps a lot well done
Ched, keep on trying one more time. Your desired best self wants you to keep on doing that. From your blog rover friend.
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