The past week has been a challenging week. Why is it? Well, it is because I have not developed a consistent habit. I need to train my subconscious mind to create a good habit, for my conscious mind does not have enough brainpower. Here are some of the things which I’m dealing with.
- My DMP submission was late by a couple of hours.
- My first chore (ie.service) was not done. (I’m beating myself for it.)
- My second chore (ie.service) was not done. Now, I realize the 1st & 2nd chore was too big to be to complete in a week.
- Missed a couple of reading out loud in the evening.
- Writing this blog is 3 days late.
- Missed reading a couple of days of reading the Masterkey
- Missed a couple of days of doing the sits.
- etc. etc. etc…
Given that I have started off a bad foot, this “bad” habit started to compound and snowball. I am tripping myself. I am not happy. I am beating myself up.
My inner voice is saying to myself that if I can’t do these simple tasks, what is the chance of doing big tasks?
If I don’t get my assignment & task up to date, what is the chance of me getting, finding, and discovering the Masterkey?
Furthermore, if the past weeks I got a lot of value from doing most of the exercises and my confidence started to rise, why on earth would I trip & mess up?
What is the point of continuing on?
At this point, I have the feeling to quit. A molasses of sadness, pity, and despair started to overtake me.
Personally, I hate quitting. However, a quiet inner voice whisper saying “Despite all of the above issues, try again one more time.” So, when I went for the sit, reading again. My quiet inner voice volume is getting louder. It says to me
- Press the Reset Button
- Maybe what I’m experiencing & feeling is part of the journey (ie. this is normal).
- Go for another iteration. (For Innovation Comes From Iteration)
So, I am declaring that I’m pressing the RESET BUTTON!
What does “Pressing the Reset Button” look like? When I close my eye and meditate, I notice the tension in my head, entire back, and shoulders are tense. This is about me
- letting go of the head, back, and shoulder tension
- letting go of the Worry that I wouldn’t finish the course
- letting go of the Anger of my scatter mind conscious
- letting go of things has to be perfect for me to get it.
I just need to have faith & trust in myself that everything is perfect and beleive that this is part of a the process.